Empowering Conversations: Discussing Disability with Your Child

It’s natural to feel unsure about talking with your child about their disability or diagnosis. Still, these conversations can be a beautiful opportunity to support your child’s confidence and sense of self. When you offer honest, ongoing, and caring discussions, you empower your child to better understand their experiences and feel proud of who they are. Here are some practical, strengths-based tips to help guide these important chats.

Make Discussions Natural and Ongoing

Talking about disability shouldn’t be a single conversation—it’s something to gently include in everyday life. You might share your thoughts during family meals, outings, or playtime, making space for everyone’s questions and reflections. When your child is playing with a peer who communicates or moves in a different way, use the moment to celebrate diversity, notice everyone’s unique strengths, and discuss the many ways people do things.

For example, while watching a movie with a character who has a disability, chat about how that character uses their abilities and creativity to meet challenges. This makes these conversations relatable and reinforces that everyone brings their own strengths to the world.

Use Age-Appropriate, Honest Explanations

It’s important to approach these conversations with empathy, helping children understand and appreciate the many ways people experience the world—including those with neurodivergence or invisible disabilities, not just physical or noticeable ones. Tailor your language to your child’s age and use simple, reassuring phrases for younger children such as, “Some people learn or do things differently, and that’s perfectly okay.” As your child gets older, you can provide more detail about their unique diagnosis, whether it’s ADHD, autism, or any other condition.

Honest and age-appropriate discussions build trust and create a safe space for your child to come to you with their questions and feelings. Remind them that everyone’s experiences and strengths are valuable—even if they aren’t always visible to others. For context, around 15–20% of Australians are neurodivergent—including children with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and other neurodevelopmental differences. This highlights just how important it is to have open, understanding conversations about invisible challenges including neurodiversity—not just visible challenges.

Welcome Questions and Validate Emotions

Children will have their own unique understanding of their diagnosis—some might ask lots of questions, while others may have little insight or awareness of their differences. It’s important to welcome every question and listen closely, tuning in to both spoken and unspoken feelings. When your child expresses frustration or sadness, validate those emotions and let them know it’s okay to feel this way. Use strengths-based phrases like, “You have so many wonderful ways of seeing and experiencing the world,” or “I see how much you care, even when things feel tough.” By sharing your own stories and making space for ongoing conversations, you help your child feel understood, valued, and supported—whatever their level of insight or the challenges they face.

Focus on Strengths and Diversity

Celebrate your child’s unique strengths and remind them that their disability or diagnosis is just one part of who they are. Shine a light on the things they love and do well—whether that’s drawing, storytelling, sport, kindness, or curiosity. Focusing on what makes your child special helps build confidence and shows that everyone has something wonderful to contribute.

For example, if your child enjoys creating art or telling stories, encourage them to share their talents with family and friends. Maybe you set up a special spot at home to display their creations or help them share their stories at school. Recognising and celebrating these achievements helps your child feel proud of their individuality.

Use Supportive Tools

Books, visuals, and analogies can be powerful tools for helping children understand disability and differences. Choosing stories that feature characters with a range of abilities makes these conversations familiar and meaningful.

For example, you might use an analogy like, “Just like smartphones have different features but all help us connect, people’s diverse abilities make them unique and special.” Relatable ideas like this can help complex topics feel approachable for children.

Here are some well-reviewed children’s books that celebrate disability, neurodivergence, and inclusion:

• Come Over to My House by Eliza Hull & Sally Rippin – An Australian picture book highlighting the home lives of diverse families, including disability representation.

• Included by Jayneen Sanders – Shares the story of children with a variety of strengths and ways of learning, encouraging acceptance and belonging.

• All My Stripes by Shaina Rudolph & Danielle Royer – Follows Zane, an autistic zebra, as he discovers that his autism is just one part of his wonderful identity.

• Some Brains: A Book Celebrating Neurodiversity by Nelly Thomas – Explores and normalises different ways of thinking, communicating, and experiencing the world.

• Max the Champion by Sean Stockdale & Alexandra Strick – Shows children with disabilities enjoying a wide range of sports and activities together.

• Two Mates by Melanie Prewett & Maggie Prewett – A true Australian story of friendship between Jack, who is Indigenous, and Raf, who uses a wheelchair.

  A Friend for Henry by Jenn Bailey – A gentle story about neurodivergence, difference, and finding friendship.

• Just Ask! Be Different, Be Brave, Be You by Sonia Sotomayor – Highlights kids with various disabilities embracing who they are.

Empower Your Child

Support your child in taking pride in who they are, reminding them that everyone has their own unique qualities, and their disability or diagnosis is just one part of their whole, wonderful self. Encourage them to share their experiences in ways that feel comfortable, as this helps build confidence and a strong sense of belonging.

For example, help your child connect with a group or community where others have similar experiences. Being part of a supportive group can foster friendship, acceptance, and a shared celebration of everyone’s individuality.

Practical Advice and Resources

Navigating these conversations can feel daunting, but you’re never alone. Skilled professionals—like occupational therapists, psychologists, and counsellors—can offer guidance and support that fits your child’s unique needs. They’re here to help you find comfortable ways to talk, and share strategies to make these discussions reassuring and empowering for your child.

Celbrate the Journey

Talking with your child about their disability is an ongoing journey, full of opportunities to connect and grow together. By keeping conversations open, using inclusive and respectful language, and highlighting your child’s strengths, you’re helping them build pride and confidence in who they are. Remember, you’re not alone—there are supports and communities to turn to, and your kindness and encouragement make all the difference as your child learns, grows, and thrives.